Tips for my enemies

[threemonkeys]

Carob is pretty much the most evil food in the universe. First because some misguided people are inclined to use it as a replacement for chocolate - just how twisted is that, nothing can replace chocolate. Second because I am really sensitive to it. So to the person at the bakery in my local supermarket who thought that supplementing the chocolate brownies with carob was a good idea, I wish all my migraine-like symptoms on you (I don't get real migraines but the symptom list for my reaction to carob is very similar).

As the symptoms started to subside and my eyes were able to focus again, I thought I'd do a bit of reading. I figured short stories were the order of the day and among the best anthologists in the business are David Hartwell and Kathryn Cramer. Their Year's Best SF collections are always top notch, so I read the latest - #13.

But what a morbid collection it is this time around. Well written stories as usual, but there are quite a few dealing with death and a bunch more dedicated to bleak and hopeless visions of the near future. It isn't all like that but the trend is there. Actually last year's was rather bleak too, but without all the death stuff as well. Hartwell & Kramer claim to be sampling and giving a representative view of the Science Fiction short story scene. What a sad lot. Alternatively it may reflect their mental state - the editorial contains a few comments about the state of the world which give a hint or two. Also, what happy person dedicates a book to somebody why tries to steal money from you through cheque fraud.

Of course, there is another theory - perhaps its a reflection of my state of mind. Carob poisoning can do that to you.

Comments

[bluetyson.livejournal.com]

I actually haven't done it, want to give it a downbeat percentage?

When your migraine is better sometime, of course.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

The migraine symptoms are well gone now thanks. I'm not really organised enough to give quantitative scores to something like that but it feels about the same as the last one but with added death imagery.

[littenz.livejournal.com]

What cretin puts carob in a chocolate cake (or muffin)?

I hope you registered your displeasure to the vendor.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

I will be so registering next time I'm in there.

[kaaronwarren.livejournal.com]

Ugh, carob. For a time in my childhood, we got carob eggs for Easter. Oh, they looked like the real thing. But that smell, and the taste....awful stuff. I don't know if it gives me a headache because I haven't eaten it since I was ten. But I bet it would.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Carob actually has no smell or taste at all to me - I suspect that is related to the sensitivity.

[kaaronwarren.livejournal.com]

Interesting! I would have thought you'd be more sensitive to the smell of it.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Go figure. The only way I can tell I've eaten it is that the effects are pretty immediate - about the time it takes to eat a brownie really. (so conceivably it wasn't carob but something else of similar effect that did it, but I didn't want to ruin the story with qualifiers)

[kaaronwarren.livejournal.com]

Which brings us back to the point of your story; who the hell uses carob instead of chocolate? Evil!

[littenz.livejournal.com]

They dedicated the book to a person who attempted cheque fraud on them!? Rose would say how kind, she has an interesting tale or two about this couple.

The book is in my to be read stack.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Read the dedication - its not like they are happy about it.

I was in Dymocks yesterday and I noticed the other copy they had was gone - I suspected you.