My Irish side coming to the fore

[threemonkeys]

I see that the Ig Nobel nutrition prize has been awarded to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Oxford University, UK, for electronically modifying the sound of a potato chip to make the person chewing the chip believe it to be crisper and fresher than it really is.

Which brings me to the subject of the standard potato chip ("crisps" to you Poms). Apologies to the Conflux attendees who have already heard me rant on this subject. The rants followed from the very first thing I did after I had checked in to the hotel and which is pretty much the first thing I always do when I get to Australia. I went out and bought some Smiths classic potato chips. Why? Because I can't get them at home.

The chips I'm referring to are standard full size crinkle cut and salted with nothing else. Even on the packet it just says peel, slice, fry and season. To my way of thinking, this is the standard default chip. All other chips are variations on it. Yes I know that there were earlier variations, so these chip aren't "original", but that does not preclude them from being the de-facto standard.

In New Zealand you can get plain salted chips with tiny ripples (which make the texture too porous), flat cut, kettle fried and thick cut. You can get chips in dozens of different flavours – anybody who tried roast lamb and mint flavoured chips knows how far out of hand this has become. Not to mention all the vege chips and corn chips on the market. Yet for all those variations, I can't get plain salted chips with full size crinkle cut. They used to be available, but first Bluebird and then Eta discontinued them years ago.

So does anybody out there know of a secret local source of proper potato chips to help me with my problem?

Comments

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

If that doesn't work then find out what restrictions there are in buying from Oz: I can send you care packages.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Thank you for that. Potato chips are high hassle items to ship being both bulky and fragile. So I figure that it isn't really worth imposing on people when I do get over the ditch every year there are plenty of second tier alternatives locally (Copper brand kettle chips are pretty good). But I do appreciate the thought.

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

Smiths have cardboard boxes with small bags inside - I was thinking of them with the gaps stuffed with padding.

And yes please, I would *so* love that other cookbook. Such things make me very happy.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Good to have a plan when the craving gets too large. I should check the regulations, just in case.

I don't have your postal address - can you email it to me (mittsusaru at gmail dot com) and I'll get the book on its way next week.

[lobelet.livejournal.com]

Smiths Crisps. Now there's a name to conjure with. When I were nobbut a lad, back in deepest, darkest Yorkshire, Smiths were the only crisps that existed. There were no other brands. And there was only the one (plain) flavour, of course. The crisps came in a bag and buried somewhere in the bag was a small, blue, waxed twist of paper with salt in. So:

Step 1: Open the bag
Step 2: Try and find the salt twist.
Step 3: Assuming you find the salt twist, untwist it and pour the salt in.
Step 4: Shake the bag vigourously.
Step 5: Enjoy.

The number of things that could go wrong during these five simple steps is mind-boggling. Opening the bag might tear it in interesting ways. Crisps then fall out. The blue salt twist might be hard to find -- often it lurked at the very bottom and digging for it would break the crisps up and, particularly if the bag was torn, might cause crisps to tumble uncontrolled to the floor. Sometimes, because of manufacturing problems, no blue salt twist existed at all (catastrophe!). At other times, you might get two or even three. Every so often moisture seeped in at some point and the salt in the blue twist turned into a solid lump instead of the delicately flowing grains that are the ideal. Shaking the bag vigourously after emptying the salt twist could also be a cause of massive crisp loss. My goodness me, the things we had to put up with!

In the 1960s, other crisp companies appeared. The blue salt twist came to be regarded as hoplessly old fashioned. Pre-condimentation was the cry, and the salt twist vanished, never to be seen again. There were experiments with different flavours. Salt 'n' vinegar, chicken, cheese and onion, smoky bacon. So far so normal, I suppose. But I distinctly remember other, more bizarre flavours. Curry, baked bean, scampi. All long since vanished; presumably they didn't sell well. Pity. The curry flavoured crisps were really quite nice...

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Smiths was the only brand in NZ when I was a kid too - although Bluebird (made not far from where I come from) appeared when I was still quite young. From memory, the Smiths brand vanished here in the early 80s.

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

I am also a devotee of the plain chip. It is my favourite flavour.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I got the response "but thats the best kind" a number of times when I did this little rant at Conflux.

[ang-grrr.livejournal.com]

I was with you up until Crinkle Cut. Your default English crisp is as flat as a pancake.

When in Europe we always try and find Lays which benefit from having a slightly bawdy name AND coming in a salted variety.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, the change from flat to crinkle default happened here in the early 60s. As is usual in these matters, it is common practice to blame the Americans.

The local brit community pining for home head down to a shop called Cool Britannia where they stock up on Walkers crisps (and Birds custard, mushy peas etc).

[lobelet.livejournal.com]

I don't. Perhaps I'm not pining for the fiords (err... home).

I AM home, damnit. Well, now that you can (at last) get decent beer here. I am home...

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

I may have mentioned the Lancastrian I used to work with. He used to go there regularly to get his fix even though he showed no other visible inclination to go back to the UK. He also used to regale us with the contents of the shop which is why its fixed in my memory.

[lobelet.livejournal.com]

But I do have a packet of Yorkshire Tea in the cupboard. Guess where it was bought from...

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

I was trying to think of the brand of that brand tea for my list above - my workmate used to buy that for his mother.

Yes, I know it seems a difficult name to forget, but that has never stopped me forgetting stuff before.

[lobelet.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you have to be born there.