Don't call me newbie

[threemonkeys]

I have just confirmed that I am running the item for first time sf con goers at Conspiracy 2. Now I have been involved in these a few times in the past. They usually go something like this: "it isn't just the programme items", "people talk funny", "socialise/party hard", "look after yourself". Then it devolves into a bunch of hardened con veterans telling tales of past exploits more designed to scare than inform. That is all well and good, but I really think something is missing from these talks. For example, I have never seen anybody attempt to reassure new to con folks that their expression of being a fan is valid. It can be intimidating when you hear somebody talking about something you don't know about. You may doubt that you should be there. I want to reassure people that they are welcome and genuinely help them over the culture shock.

So I am asking you. What is the one thing you most wish you had been told at the start of your first con? Alternatively, what is the one thing that you were told that benefited you the most?

Comments

[cricketk.livejournal.com]

mynxii is in the process of doing the same sort of thing over here (http://mynxii.livejournal.com/400580.html).

I think being reassured that I was actually welcome would have been nice. Perth fandom in particular is so cliquey that it's hard to feel like anything other than an outsider. The thing I noticed most at my first con was that I interpreted other people's attempts to make conversations as very combative and geek one-upmanshipping. I don't think I was wrong in this perception, but I didn't realise that I didn't have to look after the feelings of people who were approaching me in this fashion.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Thanks - good points. In particular I hadn't even considered geek one-upmanship.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

It's a massive problem, and one I am hopefully less guilty of today than I was 10 years ago.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how big an issue it is over here. I haven't really been conscious of it that much. Then again that might just be me being all oblivious again. I will certainly cover it in the talk.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

I've seen it in both Perth and Melbourne. Some fans have a specific manner of speaking that comes across - generally unintentionally - of expressing to one another relatively superior levels of science fictional knowledge and trivia.

I exaggerate when I say it's a massive problem. There is a minority of fans who do it, but who are often loud and very hard to miss.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Oh - them! Yes, now I'm with you. Something to include along with the notion that there are lots of different ways to express your fandom and not be intimidated by anyboy elses.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Hi - i'll happily share the documentation I'm putting together, which atm consists of an FAQ, that i am hoping is friendly, and also a glossary for just terms people have never heard before or, are unsure of.

I agree with you on the definition of 'first con' panels - although I've been to a couple of really good ones that were lots of laughter and talking about fun stuff.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Thank you, that would be very much appreciated. I'm preparing a talk which I suspect in itself won't be much use, but I'm happy to send you the bullet point version of what I think needs to be covered. Or at least what I think of in the next few days as I'm aware Swancon is only two weeks away - good luck with that, I wish I could be there.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

1. That all the action takes place in the bar
2. Where to find the bar

[angriest.livejournal.com]

3. That if you want to be cool, you'll stay in the bar and make people come to you.
4. How to stand dismissively at the bar with an enormous air of "cool" so that people will realise you're one of the cool people at the bar.

: )

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

BUGGER! See, no one told me about #s 3 & 4 and I've been doing it wrong all these years.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

Ah, but you have an innate sense of cool that requires no instruction. You merely are.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

years of dedication and practise, Grasshopper...

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Certainly my favourite place to be at a con. For the purposes of this exercise I'm going to have to try to accommodate those (poor sad misguided) people who aren't comfortable at a bar. Also, what do you do until the bar opens.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

good point -- what do you do? I usually sit on the floor & bash my forehead against the door until they open it.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Conspiracy 2 is planning a fan lounge for people to get together and socialise - I will be directing people there and to the dealers and telling them to buy lots.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

Good man!

[cat-i-th-adage.livejournal.com]

Remember to have at least one solid, nutritionally balanced meal a day.

My first con I was mostly living on cheese doodles, and bounced between living dead and seriously hyper all the way through. If I'd had better fuel, I could have gone for a more sustained burn.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

Was that at Construction where we had 1000 bags of those things? You wouldn't have been the only person to try to live on them.

[cat-i-th-adage.livejournal.com]

Yes. I was seriously short of spending money and trying to eke out my food with the free snacks. It was a mistake.

[thoatherder.livejournal.com]

Don't touch the naked lady.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

:-)

[littenz.livejournal.com]

I have noyiced that for just about all of us, conventions are about meeting, renewing and making friends. For some fans this can be extremely difficult. The most overwhelmed by the convention scene are the shy-with-some-concept-of-social-skills.

For these the geek one-upmanship and the cliques are a real barrier. Trying to hold a conversation with strangers who:
- talk at one as though one is in the next room, and/or
- jump straight to minutiae of subjects one is only vaguely interested (and can demand an opinion in response), and/or
- display no, or very poor, social skills in any situation
can be very be very, very off putting.

I don't know what sort of strategies can be offered for these people to break the shyness barrier, mingle and make friends. I suspect these are the fans we would prefer to relax with.

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure of strategies either - I can but encourage people to talk to others and reassure them that there is a place for them. I am hoping that "forewarned is forearmed" will help a bit for people when confronted with the situations you describe.

[littenz.livejournal.com]

Do you want assistance on this panel?

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

No thanks. Well, unless that is you have a cattle prod or the like suitable for keeping certain well known fans from interrupting me. I will be preemptively attempting to quieten them but it doesn't always work.

[roaring40s.livejournal.com]

I may decide to be one of those shy-with-some-social skills newbies....am put off by the idea that everybody else seems to know each other very well, have all done this before and some people do tend to drone on about a pet subject(and expect that I know and care about it). The bar sounds good...

[threemonkeys.livejournal.com]

It would be great if you could attend. Of course you will actually know quite a few people there so you will be a step ahead before you start. I don't know what the bar will be like at this venue - they do tend to vary a bit as to suitability. Still it won't be like last year where the person tending bar on the first day didn't know how to make a gin and tonic - really.